YouTube’s shitty new comment system!

OK, whomever implemented the plans for the new YouTube comment system needs to be relieved of his duties and switched to cleaning the toilets.  I would have said fetching sandwiches and drinks, but I wouldn’t trust whomever this is to get my order right!

Rating COMMENTS?  WHY?…  DUMB!

YouTube’s video creator community exists within the comment sections of it’s videos.  That’s where people express their opinions, praise, rant, rave, even hate on others…  It was glitchy enough as it was, and now they’ve gone and implemented some changes that make it almost USELESS!  Before, we could click “view all comments” and all the comments would appear on one page and in order.  There’s no way to accomplish that now.  On top of that, sometimes the comments show up, sometimes they don’t, and you never know what order they’re going to be in!  It’s a mess!

Video to follow!

CM

THE FUTURE IS HERE

OK, I grew up with The Jetsons, Lost in Space (I hated Star Trek but had a huge crush on “Penny” / Angela Cartwright from the Jupiter Two), and 1984.  Handheld communicators, spy cameras, government survellience, and video phones were everyday items in these worlds.  Now, I live in one of those worlds.

I have a Treo (not bragging, I’m SO over expensive phones and ready for something cheap and small). BUT, for now, I have my portable communicator. Phone, camera, internet, information organizer, etc.   Lost in space (OK, Star Trek).

In California, the city of Oakland likes to keep it’s eye out for criminals by watching the public with cameras and Shotspotter microphones.  Big Brother.

The other night, I had a two hour Skype conversation with my friend Heidi. I’ve never met Heidi in person, but I feel almost as if I have. We’ve had real time face to face (sort of) conversation which is WAY more interactive than a phone call. You can see facial expressions or the ambience of someone’s room over the phone. We noted how cool it was to be able to tell without words when the other was thinking something like, “What the FUCK?” If you do something embarrassing, the other person sees it. The Jetsons.

I feel a video coming on.

You Used to be So Cute

Here’s the song from the multi-user monster-collaboration video that’s going up on Kevin Nalts’ YouTube channel:

You Used to be So Cute

As usual, do the “right click and save as” trick.

For the curious, the lyrics are roughly as below… not EXACTLY, ’cause this is a cut and paste from the text file I used to write the lyrics. I haven’t cleaned ‘em up into “final draft” form:

you used to be so cute / now take a look at you
you’ve come a long way baby, now this is true but
you used to be so cute

take a look in the mirror / do you know who you see
you might look good for your age but you’re aging, that’s a guarantee

you used to be so cute / now take a look at you
you’ve come a long way baby, now this is true but
you used to be so cute

when you walk out your front door / do you know where you’ll go
remember when it didn’t matter and the time would go so slow

you used to be so cute / now take a look at you
you’ve come a long way baby, now this is true but
you used to be so cute

you’ve come so far and you can’t get back now
there was nowhere to go but where you’re going anyhow
in the road that’s ahead with the sun going down
you’ve got to see what you can while you’re still around

you used to be so cute / now take a look at you
you’ve come a long way baby, now this is true but
you used to be so cute

take a look in the mirror / do you know who you see
you might look good for your age but you’re aging, that’s a guarantee

you used to be so cute / now take a look at you
you’ve come a long way baby, now this is true but
you used to be so cute

song copyright 2007 ChristopherMast / Indie Shout Music

CM

ANOTHER Happy Song video?

Well, thanks to my featuring XelanderThomas’ entry to the Happy Song, and to HIS linking the “so far” version to his video, I’ve gotten a number of new submissions in the past few days. Some are really good. Here we go again. Here’s The Church of Dave’s entry:

YouTube Guest Editor, the MASTERLIST

Back when I started “the negotiations” for my guest editor spot (which has gained me a whoppin’ thousand views for the vid I made and 25 new subscribers, whee!), I submitted 55 videos. It was hard. I was trying to keep in mind what might be interesting to the “Average Jane and Joe” would be interested in (in case my favorite Brighton chick is reading, you’re anything but average, babe! haha). I also stayed away from videos with a lot of curse words and copyrighted material (which made it hard to include a BUNCH of people). Where I’m at mentally about YouTube NOW, I wouldn’t worry so much about the cursing! Oh well. The last time I added any names to the suggestions was 5/27. Without further delay… here’s THE MASTERLIST!:

adventurnox - “YouTube Popularity Contest”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Dv7gFlvTBMM

AkewsticRockR - “The Interview”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipr5pUvA4To

aDifferentView - “Mental Overload: A Short Story Without Words”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HY8HHueuB3c

BibleGirl7 - “Frog Hunting!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xjSzLcwfN0

Boobtubious - “BananaFace”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCkBRDfAIs4

Consumatron - “The Consumatron Minute - 05/07/07 - Madness”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrE9U07tNIc

CosmicYoYo - “Unfun With Food”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZIoitvxq8k

Double929 – “Tyrone Wells - Live From The Rocket V.4: Sea Breeze”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03YbknYlJK0

Drennon – “Drennon’s French Film”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mHWjLQw8q5E

Eemma – “Tricky Chopsticks”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8P-T0SAxmg

Faintstarlite – “I Did IT! + before/after Photos”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=t_9QHCTljtE

FrauBlaseBalg - “Re: Let’s Play 20 Questions - #9″
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Kvmoiiuo-WA

GiLligEN – “GiLligEN’s Acne”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=v2BgftyzvPc

GroovyTimes - “RE: The Perfect Cup of Coffee”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQfuk0ot2sc

HeatherInBlack - “Everwhere a Runway”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLA8mJjl0_4

InsideTheMusicBox11 - “Henna”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8FdlURhStE

ItalianGuyFromNY - “Advice from the Sarge #3″
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlXDZ1NweH8

ItalianStallionette - “Watch My Life Be Saved In 7 Minutes!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tjZ9VcxyiA

JoeMamasPlace – “I Pimped My Dog”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDK08tg7oTA

JohnnyOnline - “LOVE TWO POINT OH (the key) - johnnyOnline”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejLtDJ5V-9g

JohnnySmooth – “Don’t be scared”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0g-PosZfBQ

KimDivine - “Cheers”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeXoPzJ3bDY

LegoPrincess – “YouTube Virgin Response - Her First Time!”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RkU14KGpJ28

LilleVen - “The Happy Song”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTONTz-uykk

MarkApsolon – “How to make your Audio better!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1MMNywCM2o

marquisdejolie - “Leaving Shelter”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaBhd0aEpeU

Mastergunner99 - “Viewer Request - How to Shave Your Head”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M54pCKmVa5M

megh2748 - “Newt Limb Regeneration”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1JwLvZ5BIE

Montagraph – “Video Date”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqMI_DivpxI

MrSeanie - “This is Me!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCCCaXjruY0

MuggleSam – “Drawing for Katie”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eFA0hc-cIE

Musosf – “Buggy Vegas”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=LOO67TPIsdY

NerdKiller - “Toast”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RO0toeFpu-w

NutCheese - “Why NutCheese?”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3D7PsM21XaI

omgseriouslywtf - “Lazy Day”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=30rTmZIGrzc

PeriUrban - “Kings”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=U1ZGQx8Pqj4

PinetreeStudios - “DysLexia”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8Y3aJ_X0Iw

RandyTenn - “How To Run a Small Group - Vineyard Church”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=L2xLvwqiN2c

RexTangle - “Jeremy Johnson - Emotional Sniper”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0t3psac-IBY

RoselTea – “Paper People”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=OmLKHMnMuEg

SeanBedlam - Stupid People are Dumb!”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb8kJV15Kns

SlatersGarage - “Home Alone”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6ll33gfpDg

SmartBombStudios - “Patriotic Pride?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQSDa9zB9fM

SonyFlores - “Good Morning…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1a1jrrTeAo

Sumotherdude - “Do Something Dangerous…”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvYgZLY3IgA

SusanHas3Cats - “Re: Famous Last Words (Game)”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQNS284yc1E

TheRandomK - “Real ID: Protest or Roll Over and Play Cattle?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EpqBQu7CZ0

UVslut - “Pmate”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7zNfW5Bpw8

VancouverFilmSchool - “Late - Vancouver Film School (VFS)”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO1_cMS_kxQ

VeryTasteful - “Lip Syncing To The Song”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk5w9QPf6ek

Voxinabox – “Voxinabox: Negotiating with your Dentist”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn0TOSs62KY

YumaJohnny - “Bored”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_KQPNcI1gM

XelanderThomas - “Re: Happy Song (so far)”
http://youtube.com/watch?v=prd6-9wu7K8

ZackScott - “Amazing President Facts”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-djwRRV07UM

Zzx4k - “The Attic”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI2EhwvGjUY

Wnoedrnig… aulaclty uesdnatnrd tihs?

Aatpprenly aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

I hvae geottn tihs meassge in eiaml bfeore and hvae raed it onilne. I don’t konw who oiinarllgy wtore it and I haenv’t seen the reeacrsh form Cmagbidre.

It’s called typoglycemia, apparently, and it can be quite fun. Try out the Typoglycemia Translator.

Crhhpstoier Msat is a phettiac aentottin wrhoe and wlil do ayinhntg to get inrtneet rntoeicigon!

I’m YouTube’s August Guest Editor

Some know, some don’t, that I’ve been working with YouTube for some time to become a “guest editor.” Well, my time has finally come. So… after much deliberation and waiting, the final list is out:

JoeMamasPlace - I Pimped My Dog

MusoSF - Buggy Vegas

XelanderThomas - Re: Happy Song (so far)

MarquisDeJolie - Leaving Shelter

ItalianGuyFromNY - ADVICE FROM THE SARGE #3

ZackScott - Amazing President Facts

NerdKiller - TOAST!

RexTangle - “Jeremy Johnson - Emotional Sniper”

KimDivine - Cheers

MasterGunner99 - How to Shave Your Head

SeanBedlam - Stupid people are dumb

VeryTasteful - Lip Syncing To The Song

FrauBlasebalg - Re: Let’s Play 20 questions - #09

double929 - Tyrone Wells - Live From The Rocket V.4: Sea Breeze

JohnnyOnline - It’s My “I’m Older” Day

Here’s how it breaks down:

There are twelve spots on the front page. There are sixteen videos in my “guest editor” selection. YouTube will pick twelve to appear right away for the first day, so if one isn’t there the first day, it will get there either the day after or in two days.

The second day, YouTube will put up two of the remaining four, knocking whomever is on the bottom two spots of the page out of rotation. The third day the final two will come online and knock the bottom two off again.

What that means is four people will only have one day runs and four people will only have two day runs. If I were in charge, everyone’s features would just run top to bottom in the whole cycle like a “normal” feature. Oh well. Oh, and I don’t have control over who they pick for three day vs. two day vs. one day spots. Sorry.

This list came after a long and exhaustive email exchange with YouTube editors. I submitted 55 suggestions in all, and there are only fourteen spots… So for any of you who AREN’T on the list, please know it’s probably that I either tried or met you after I made my submissions…I’ve been working on this with YouTube since March.  

I like SO many people and I wish I could just keep being the editor so I could make sure they all got featured. I WAS going to post a list of the 55 submissions I made, but making them all hyperlinks is a pain in the ass, so I might do that at a later date, but for now, no.

Dating and the Weirdness of Being a Prominent YouTube Geek

So… When exactly DO you break it to a girl that in six months you’ve made over 300 online videos and many of them make you look like a complete JACKASS?

ADDED LATER IN THE DAY:

You know what? If someone can’t handle my sense of humor, fuck it, right? Yeah, there’s lots of irreverent, filthy, sexual humor in my videos. There’s GOING to be for as long as I can see into the future! If someone doesn’t like it, so be it! Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke, right?

Thanks to my dear friend Alyson for helping me to re-grow some balls!

Day Four

Well… I quit caffeine Sunday. It’s Wednesday. It’s 6 a.m. I have to be at work at 7 a.m. I can’t drag myself out of bed (yes, I frequently have my laptop in bed with me, how sad is that?). My dog needs fed, watered, and let out. I need a shower and need to brush my teeth, etc. I need to get dressed… Oh, and more presentably than I usually do ’cause I have a thing to go to immediately after work. An “Eight Minute Dating” thing. WHY the hell did I sign up for that? At least I have a friend going too. Thing is, I’d kinda run out energy for dating anyway… now with no caffeine… UGH. I have no idea what I’m like socially when I’m tired and OFF COFFEE, really! It’s been a long addiction, this bean fetish! I hope I don’t get all misanthropic when I’m asked the same “qualifying questions” by eight different women in eight different eight-minute sessions!

ARRRRGHMPH!

I was reading in this John’s Hopkins website about caffeine withdrawal producing “five clusters of common withdrawal symptoms: headache; fatigue or drowsiness; dysphoric mood including depression and irritability; difficulty concentrating; and flu-like symptoms of nausea, vomiting and muscle pain or stiffness.”  I’ve got ‘em all!  Well… I haven’t thrown up, but I FEEL like I could! 

Day two of my new caffeine-free lifestyle!  I’m dyin’ here!  Shit!